Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Here I am

If I have worried anybody because I haven't updated earlier, I am very sorry. I have just had to take some time to get my head around things.

As I mentioned in my last update, I had been to the hospital because of some small spotting of sorts. I was told my hcg levels were more than 10000 but they wouldn't tell me what they were exactly. This worried me because at 6 weeks your levels should be between 1080-56500 and I wanted to know if I was at the low end or the high end.

Then Friday I went for my scan. The woman found bubs and the heartbeat but couldn't measure the length properly because she could find the ends. The one measurement she did take had bubs at 6 weeks and 3 days, which is what I was. She also managed one heartrate scan and this was 122bpm.

So I went home feeling less than satisfied and still worried because I had read that at 6 weeks the heartrate should be around 150bpm.

So spent the weekend totally worried. Finally Sunday I sat myself down and gave myself a lecture. I was just making myself worse. I had to stop taking things I read as gospel, every pregnancy is different. I made an appointment to see my doctor yesterday. Yesterday I rang the hospital I went to, told them I was seeing my doctors and needed my exact hcg levels. The result: 50200. GEEZ, thats a big difference to 10000. Why didn't they just write that to begin with. I also found before my appointment, on the website that has the hcg levels, that heartrate for a 6 week old can be between 120bpm and 180bpm, depending on when exactly the heart started beating. I also found Bethanys scan at 6 weeks and her heart rate: 115bpm.

So I had worried for nothing and caused god knows what stress on my wee bub. I picked up my scans and went to the doctors and she is all happy with everything and has even given me my referral to start antinaetal(sp?) care at the hospital in 5 weeks, all going well.

So there you go. Now I just need to make it through this naesea and I will be fine. But with every stomach turn and gag I do, I know it has to be a good thing and just smile to myself.
Posted by Kim :: 8:03 AM :: 4 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Friday, March 24, 2006

I'm Sick!!

Well I am certainly in the throes of my first trimester now. I am constantly nauseus and just want to sleep, although when I get into bed I toss and turn.

When it comes to food I am finding it hard to eat. Have been eating toast with vegemite every morning for breakfast but this morning I got up and as I started eating my first piece, discovered that I no longer like it as it made me want to throw up.

I can't stomach diet coke any more, am now drinking either orange juice, water or lemon fizzy drink.

But it all has to be good, right? I definately wasn't this ill with the last pregnancy although I was with Bethany.

Have had a pretty stressful week. Monday night I discovered, (if I gross you out I'm sorry) not spotting, but a brownish jelly. This kept up and increased right till Wednesday morning when I decided I had enough of panicking and made an excuse, left work and drove myself into the emergency ward at the big women's hospital here. After an hour they took my blood and told me it would be an hour till we got the results. I had an examination and was told there was no sign of what I described and no blood. So I sat and weighted for the results. The hour passed with nothing. Another hour passed so I got up and said I was just going to the loo (just incase they had forgotten about me) The doctor said that someone was coming to see me and could I just wait a few more minutes. 20 minutes later a different lady came in and told me that she was going to do an ultrasound. Now I really started to worry that my Hcg levels weren't good. She did the ultrasound and said that it was the size of a 6 week old but she wanted to do an internal scan (sorry). So I emptied my bladder and had it done. I saw my bubby and its little heart beating away. I felt so relieved. I asked what my levels were and I was told that they were above 10000 and that's all that mattered. I was a little worried as to why they wouldn't give me the exact reading but was told everything was fine and I could go.

And the funny thing, the whole time I was there I didn't have any more discharge. And I didn't have any yesterday until about 7pm when it decided to start again!

So we are still going to do my scan today for a couple of reasons. 1, Pete didn't get to see the one I had on Wednesday and 2, I want to make sure that things are still OK considering I am losing stuff again. We have decided to leave Bethany with mum as I don't want to confuse her if things go wrong again.

Sorry for the totally pregnancy related entry but just thought I would let you all know what is going on. Will update tonight with the results of this arvos scan.

Posted by Kim :: 9:08 AM :: 4 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Monday, March 20, 2006

5 Sleeps to go

Am so sorry for the absence and if I have worried anyone, have just taken some time out to try and focus.

It is 5 sleeps now till I have my scan and although I said I was going to relax, I am starting to stress and worry a little.

I mean I still have all good signs, really sore boobs, constant nausea (still no throwing up yet but have been close to it a couple of times), poor sleeping, lots of trips to the loo and the constant fidgeting I get when I am pregnant. This is about 95% more symptoms than I had last time but still I can't help but continually think about Friday afternoon.

We have now told our parents and my brother over in Sydney (he is feeling very lonely and depressed over there so he is coming home next week) and Pete's cousin Becky knows too as she is my best friend (she has 4 weeks to go till her bub arrives).

I started feeling so ill that I stopped walking about Wednesday last week and have felt even more rotten since so must start doing that again, as it did make me feel good when I went, I just didn't want to risk having to throw up as I was walking but the feeling isn't easing up at all so must move on.

Went to my gym last week and told them what is going on and they said that if I feel I can't use my membership while I am pregnant, I can pay $5.50 and have it frozen for six months. Then I can come back and have it frozen for another 3 months and then I can start using it again and have almost my full 12 months after the baby is born, so am looking at doing that today.

Foodwise, am having problems at the moment. Trying to eat as best I can but there are days like last night where I couldn't even stomach the thought of eating tea. So I have changed from just taking my folate pills, to taking a supplement which has my full daily dose of folate plus other vitamins and omega 3 and other things vital for bubby that I might not be supplying. They are expensive $21 a month but worth it as far as I'm concerned.

This is my last week working full time. I tell you I did it last week and I was exhausted by Wednesday. It's not just the working but running around getting Bethany to school, shopping, cleaning and cooking on top. I can't wait till this week is over and I go back to part time, although I am dreading telling my boss about my condition. When they told me that she was expecting in August, they wanted me to take over full time while she was gone. I did say that I wouldn't be able to do it as Bethany would still be at school but I said maybe they could get another part timer and we could share the job. Now they are going to have to get someone in August to work part time and a part timer for me when I go or someone to start part time in August and become full time when I leave. I know it's their problem, not mine, but they won't be happy about it.

OK enough dribble from me today. I just had to get all these thoughts out in the open. Here's looking forward to a good week and an outstanding Friday (fingers crossed).

Posted by Kim :: 9:03 AM :: 5 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Monday, March 13, 2006

Interesting

Well, firstly sorry for the long absence but things have happened that have thrown my grand plan into turmoil.

Tuesday I did manage to get to the gym and do an awesome 30 mins, first 10 on treadmill, 10 on cycle, 10 on crosstrainer.

Wednesday, felt terrible. Not from my workout, just ill. Still no sign of TOM(was now late) so took a test and it was positive.

That's right, here we go again, I'm pregnant!

Was not going to post the news yet, hence the long absence, but just want to let you all know. If Pete's mum is reading this, please, PLEASE, don't say anything yet. Pete wants to tell you but he wants to wait so keep it a secret.

So just as I had sat down, mentally prepared myself for weightloss and joined a gym, I got pregnant. Typical, as Karen said, "Murphy's Law".

Went to the doctors on Thursday and had it all confirmed. I currently have low blood pressure (explains the dizziness I keep getting) and have booked for my scan on Friday 24/3, the day before Karen.

So Thursday night I went for a gentle, slow 30min walk around the block. It felt so odd to be going so slow after my workout on Tuesday, but I just want to take it easy while my pressure is like this and until I know everything is OK. Have been feeling quite nauseas and such so eating hasn't been the best. Last night was still feeling yuck so went for a walk and came home feeling better so must keep that up, don't want my fitness to drop.

Weighed this morning and was delighted with a 500g gain, considering what I have eaten the last few days. Now I am looking at battling the sickness the healthiest way I can and continue exercising, just lightly. Even if I go to the gym and use the treadmill on low for 30mins, I am not wasting my membership!

So now that is 3 of us that miscarried last year who are due within 6 days of each other, Carla on the 8th, Karen on the 11th and me on the 14th, spooky hey?

At the moment, I am trying not to think about last time. I am aiming to relax, not stress and just go with the flow. My mind is forbidden to wander. Even when my symptoms ease off for a day, I just think, there is a reason for it. Although I did say to the doctor I can't wait to start throwing up, then I will know everything is OK, that's a bit of a worry, wanting to throw up. But at the moment I have been sicker and sorer than last time, so that has to be a good thing too, right?

See, now my mind is wandering again, naughty, naughty.

Well, that's about it for now, just thought I would let you know that weightloss is on hold, again, and once again I have had to pull out of poor Paulene's challenge. You must get sick of me starting and stopping!

Until later
Bye

Posted by Kim :: 10:44 AM :: 4 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Sunday, March 05, 2006

I did it, I did it, I did it!!!!

Well where to start?

Thursday I got ready for action. I hopped on the computer and joined the biggest loser club on their website, I'm going to need as much inspiration as possible (although I still can't stand most of the blue team, Cat and Fiona seem like the only nice ones.)

Then I rang the gym that Kelly won her free membership at. They told me the voucher was worth $100 so I could use it for a month membership or as a discount on a larger membership but I could decide when I came in. I made an appointment for 9.30am Friday, after Bethany was at school.

Ok. woke up Friday raring and ready to go. Weighed in at 80.3kg, a 1.7kg gain but I was expecting much worse.

Took Bethany to school, then headed to the gym. Was told if I used the voucher as a discount on a 12month membership, I would have to pay four weeks in advance and then $13.80 a week. She gave me some time to think about it and I did. I considered that previously I have been thinking about going casual at a gym twice a week at over $15 a week. I thought that we are currently refinance and getting rid of all credit cards and into a better financial position. I thought that Peter would get stroppy because last time I mentioned joining Curves he said "but I want to go to a gym too" and then I finally thought that every week he spends at least $15 or sometimes evenmore on buying food while at work. And I thought if he can do that, I can do this.

So I joined for a year. I finally did it. I am now a member of a gym!

She got me all signed up and booked me in for my first appraisal in a week and a half (had to organise around work and stuff). When she was finished I asked if I could just go in and use some machines. So I started on the cross trainer. Never used one of them before. I set it for 5 minutes and was quite surprised at how easy it was, so did another 5mins. Then I went to the layback cycles and did 10mins. That killed me. As I was about 7 mins through I thought, I go after this. But when I finished I thought, no, keep going, so I went back to the cross trainer (all the treadmills were being used), set it on a lower level and did 10mins to cool down. When it came up with the 2mins to go, I felt so good that I had kept going.

I can't wait to go again but because we have a long weekend that won't be till Tuesday.

I watched what I ate Friday and up until dinner had 9.5 points. But then we had ravioli in bolognaise sauce with garlic bread. I had already planned to have it at the beginning of the week so I figured first day of the week would be best to get it over and done with.

Then I went for a 30min walk. 2 lots of exercise in 1 day OMG!

Yesterday went well too. Had 20 points in total and also a 30min walk. I thought I would wake up aching yesterday after my first go at gym but was surprisingly OK. The walk yesterday almost killed me. I didn't go till after 7pm. It was almost dark and still 30degrees outside. We are in the middle of a heat wave and it was 38 yesterday, 38 today, 36 tomorrow and Tuesday. But back to my walk, it was hot, I sweated heaps and felt great once I finished.

Today has been OK. have had 9.5points so far and am having a roast (yes in this heat) for tea. I cook it in the oven with no added fat, just in its own juices so it is as low fat as I can get. Having that with vegies so should be around 6 points. Then I can have a lemonade icy pole or jelly or lite choc mousse for 1 point. And last snack of the day I have found a box of lite microwave popcorn with 5 small individual satchels. I satchel popped is worth 1.5 points. Whatever I have, I can't see myself going over 20 and I am also going for a late walk again tonight.

So hear I am. In day 3 and managing OK so far. Fingers crossed it keeps going that way. TOM is due on Tuesday (the same day I want to go to gym) so lets hope it holds off till after I have been.

Posted by Kim :: 2:43 PM :: 2 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Facing facts

I sat down with myself yesterday and made myself face some facts.

I have admitted to myself that the reason my weightloss isn't succeeding is due to the fact that I am trying to get pregnant.

There is a lot of factors I have realised that are floating around in the back of my mind:

1. I was 94kg when I got pregnant first try with Bethany but now I am smaller I am having problems, maybe I am sabotaging myself thinking that if I stay big, it will work.
2. I am set in a vicious cycle. I get TOM and work hard for 2 weeks losing weight, then I try to conceive and take it easy for a week, not wanting anything to stop it from working and then I take it easy for the next week just incase I am pregnant, not wanting to do anything wrong and then it starts all over again.
3. When it turns out I am not pregnant I hurts and I use food.

And that is just about the jist of it. So now it is time to relax, stop stressing (mum told me yesterday that stress won't help trying to conceive either) and just get on with it.

So today I got up and did a gentle 25 situps and 12 minutes on the stepper(Bethany woke up and stopped me from doing any more). I will trying and do another 18 mins when I get home and a 30min walk tonight.

I was actually quite surprised at how much I enjoyed doing the stepper. I did 10mins on Sunday and managed 554 steps. This morning in 10 mins I did 635 and in the whole 12 minutes I did 804. I was disappointed when Bethany woke up because I felt like I could do more.

I am also hoping to join a gym in the next couple of days. Kelly won a free trial membership at a gym but doesn't want it so she has given it to me. So I am going to find out what it includes and try to use it instead. Even if it just lets me use like a cross trainer and exercise bike, that's all I'm really looking for right now, just to get back into it. So fingers crossed I can use it.

Well that's enough confession for today. Looking forward to a good day and better days to come.

Posted by Kim :: 8:23 AM :: 2 Comments:

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