Sunday, December 03, 2006

Trying to get back to normal

Well I am trying to get things to settle down and back to normal now that everyone is home and hopefully well, it hasn't been the 2 weeks I had intended on having after giving birth, that's for sure!

I am almost back to normal since coming out of hospital on Thursday. Geez Tuesday was scarey. I had been complaining to my mum about my afterpains all day but on a visit to the shopping centre they just seemed to get worse and worse until they were so bad I couldn't stand up straight. We took mum home and by the time we got home I had a fever of 38.8. Shivered under a blanket until I threw up and developed a terrible migraine headache. It was after this we decided to go to the after hours GP at the hospital so Pete ran around and got Bethany's dinner and then rushed to pick up my mum to look after the girls. We got to the clinic and for the first time I can recall, there were no patients. I was taken in my the nurse and assessed, had my temp taken (now 39.9 degrees) and she said she was taking me straight through to the doctor. She took me in and told him "I think she has infected retained products". He went through the exact same questions the nurse did (he was pretty hopeless), rang the obstetric ward to find out how to have me admitted and then I was sent to the ER in a wheelchair. Once I was there I went through all the same questions again and was asked to wait but was told it wouldn't be long. About 5 mins later a nurse called me, took me straight in and within 10 mins I had an IV in my arm and all sorts of drugs pumped into me, including stuff to stop nausea, morphine, and I was told about 4 different kinds of antibiotics, which is why I made the decision then and there to take Caitlyn permanently off my breastmilk. And all I could do was cry. Was I making the right decision. I didn't want to be in hospital. I didn't want to be admitted. I didn't want to lug Pete with the burden of being thrown into looking after both girls on his own just 5 days after coming home, considering he hadn't made a bottle or changed a nappy yet. I just wanted to go home and hold my girls. I was in terrible pain but I was crying because I just wanted it all to stop and to go home.

And thats how it happened. I was eventually taken back to the maternity ward at about 2am (Pete had had to leave at 10.30 to get back and feed Caitlyn) where I went in and out of unconciousness until about 6am where I threw up again and was told I would be having surgery later that morning. I was told at 8am that it would be about 10.30 but they came and got me at 9.30 and was back in my room by 10.30. Pete, mum and the girls were waiting for me when I came back. I was told that they would probably keep me in until Friday, but that night I was told if my fever came down I would be able to go home Thursday, which is what happened.

So, there you have it. I am still on 2 different kinds of antibiotics for another week and hopefully everything is OK.

While flashing back over the last week, Bethany's concert was great. Was disappointed after her first dance as the helpers in the changeroom did not do her costume up properly and 3/4 of the way through the dance, it came undone and started to fall off. My poor little girl grabbed hold of it and tried to dance and keep it up at the same time until she was called off stage, had it done back up, ran back on and took her place and continued. I was so proud. She said to me afterwards "did you see me hold my top up, I was scared everyone would see my boobies!" Luckily her second routine was problem free.



Then Sunday we kept a promise we had made to Bethany the week before when Pete and I went and got our hair cut. It was the Friday before Caitlyn was born and she had wanted hers cut too but we told her she would have to wait until the day after the concert as she needed to wear her wig and if she got it cut it wouldn't be long enough. So we took her and I asked the hairdresser to cut it shoulder length. She made the first cut and I almost fainted. She had cut it just above her shoulders. She looked at me and must have seen the look on my face. She said "this is the length you wanted" WELL it was kind of too late to ask that question so I just politely smiled and nodded. Bethany seemed really happy with it, she hasn't had it this short since she was 18 months old (I went through all our photos to see).



I look at her now and she seems so grown up. And the last 2 weeks seems to have made her grow a little too. She does some things on her own, without even being asked, but sometimes she seems so little too, if that makes sense, and I worry that I am not giving her enough attention and if she resents having Caitlyn around. Geez, I'm crying again. I really like putting myself through hell.

And of course, with the new haircut, a new photo of the 2 girls was required.



So hopefully now things will settle down. I know with a newborn that's hard to say, but at least settle down to the way things are supposed to be with a newborn.

So expect to hear more from me again now, hopefully (Hopefully is my pet word at the moment). I have been keeping up with all your blogs, all be it a quiet reader at the moment but will be looking to get back in action.

Oh and PS I weighed myself today, 2 weeks after giving birth, I am 91.4kg.
Posted by Kim :: 6:45 PM :: 4 Comments:

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