|
::Lumpy's Blog::
::Author::
::My Stats on this Journey so far...::
::My Weight Goals::
::My Current Stats::
::My Pages::
::::
::::
|
Sunday, February 26, 2006 Lost focus Ok, Ok, here I am again and I failed. I completely lost focus last week. I haven't done a scrap of exercise and my eating has been disgusting. I felt so terrible that I contemplated, not only giving up Paulene's challenge, but everything. But I have since read Paulene's journal for last week and seen that she is sick of sitting in her plateu also. Then I got to thinking, people have been through worse than me and continued, what sort of person would I be to give up so easily. So here I am, plodding along still. I am going to spend the rest of this week trying to recondition my body, get my energy back and get used to eating properly and doing some gentle exercise. Then as of Friday, it's kick arse time! I have had a little boost to the confidence though. Just a small one. When we took Bethany to Adventure World, we went to the kiddies cove section. Last time we went there was just before I started trying to loose weight. I felt miserable because Peter had to take her on everything because I was too big.  But this time I could! I only just fit into the seat but I did it. That did make me feel a little better. I realised that if I have given up all the other times I had failed, I wouldn't be able to do it at all. So here I am, swallowing my pride and ready to start again. I know my weighin this week won't be crash hot, but I am going to do it nonetheless. Finally, here is another gorgeous photo from our day out.  I hope you can all bear with me while I get my bearings. I promise to try harder. 
Pretty sick Sorry for the big absence but have not had the best of weeks. Last I updated was Friday so lets see... I hadn't told you but since Wednesday I have been adding jogging to my walking. I started Wednesday and then after reading Paulene's journal, started timing my jogging compared to my walking. So Thursday I jogged about 3.5mins and walked 26.5. Friday I jogged 4 mins and walked 26 and then Saturday I jogged 4.5 and walked 25.5 but during this workout Saturday I jarred my left ankle. Must be from not being used to the jogging. So I sat Sunday out. Monday was first day of holidays so basically relaxed at home, took Bethany to kindy and then decided to go see Pete's parent's after she had finished kindy. While there I got terrible allergies (think both Bethany and I are allergic to their new kitten) Came home about 8pm feeling totally like crap and collapsed on the lounge. About 9pm got these terrible tummy cramps and went rushing to the loo with really bad diarrohea. This continued until midnight. Then in the morning I got up and just nibbled on a couple of pieces of toast. But it started again and finished about 11am. Didn't really have much energy to do anything yesterday so I didn't. Today got up and had it again! Considering it's only me who has it, think I might have a bit of food poisoning from some leftover roast only I had on Monday for lunch. So you'd think my weight would be down this week with very little in my stomach. But unfortunately, because I have had terrible hunger pains and cramps have eaten a lot of bad food (chocolate and takeaway included) so it is actually up. Am undecided as to whether to weighin this week. I still don't have a lot of energy and am still getting shocking pains and wind. Haven't really had a great week as you can see and I only have like 24hours or so to do anything so am thinking about passing. I have only done this once or twice during the 2 odd years I have been losing weight so I think I can be excused this one time. Am off to catch up with everyone else's journals now (if I can stay upright much longer). Geez I feel like crap. Catchup again soon
A little annoyed Time to record my weekly weighin but first I want to have a little vent over something I saw last night that has annoyed me a bit. I, like many other people I know, have been watching Australia's Biggest Loser that started on Monday night. I watched the first 2 series and loved them. But last night something happened that upset me and has really annoyed me. Last night was challenge night and the blue team beat the red team and chose to go eat instead of exercising. While watching the losing red team exercise Artie(150 odd kilos worth) leaned over, looked out the window and stated "look its a beached whale, oh wait that's just the red team" This comment tore at the heart of me. I have had that comment said to me on more than one occasion and I was only 100kg. I am now less than half of that man's weight and I would never, ever say that to any large person. What sort of a man does he think he is? What right does he have to even think that about anyone. Now I think about it, it has actually quite upset me that someone like this is one the show. After a comment like that I feel he really doesn't deserve to be there. But hey, that's just me. He might be a really nice person but after that comment I really wouldn't like to know any more about him. Sorry to complain, just how it made me feel. One day we were at the pool with Bethany when a large lady walked past. Now she was very big, her stomach hung down through the leg openings of her bathers and my tiny daughter called her "fat". I didn't even know she knew what the word meant, then I realised that I always say it about myself. So I sat her down, told her it wasn't nice to call people or yourself names like that and it wasn't the lady's fault she was bigger than other people. It was the only thing I could think of to say. Just goes to show that even at an early age, the smallest comment can impact a child's life. Now to weigh in. Happy with another loss, although not as much as I was hoping. I momentary lapse on Wednesday of KFC may have helped that, but still 400g is better than nothing. Am now 78.6kg. If I can somehow manage 1.1kg this week, it will mean 3.5kg in 7 weeks which works out to 500g a week, which isn't bad. Now being weighin day, it is also free day today. However I started with a 30min walk this morning (back from Bethany's school) a 2 point breakfast. Am now to have lunch, stirfry for tea and another 30min walk tonight. The only bad thing I am planning on is the licorice I have had saved for today. Usually I can eat a whole bag of it. But I started keenly this morning and after half a bag I feel sick so have thrown it out. Not too bad for a free day. Will update total points later. I know I have dragged on today but I have one last thing to tell you. This morning while I was at the shops, mum and I went into a clothes shop. She was buying some stuff and headed to the checkout and I followed her. As she did, an attendant walked past with this really pretty pink floral dress. I went to have a look at it and it wasn't my size. Behind it was a blue one in size 14 so I tried it on. It was amazing. It was halter neck, with a scalf kind of skirt and a ruffle kind of panel to hide my tummy. Mum came in and said it looked great so I have stuck it on layby. (can't really afford it but I have to have it) It has been 6 years since I last wore a dress and that was a maternity one. I just wish I took a photo with my phone in the change room. So now I have an incentive to keep going, so the dress still fits when I pick it up. I can't wait.
Settling in Well here I am, settling in to my new space. Seems that by making this move I have lost a lot of my old readers which is a little upsetting but I am not giving up. I will continue this blog even if no one reads it. So now to catch up with everything else. My weighin on Friday saw me back down to 79kg (again!!!), a loss of 1kg. Monday I had 16 points out of 20 with a 30min walk. Yesterday I had 18 points and another 30 minute walk. I am hoping that this week will see me get below the 78.6kg I got to a few weeks ago. If that happens it will mean I have lost at least 2.5kg in 6 weeks, which isn't exactly awesome, but hey its better than a gain. My boss went for her 12 week ultrasound last Thursday. Everything seems good and she is now past the stage where she had her miscarriage last time so I am happy for her and hope things continue to go well. She must have been worried senseless these last few weeks. I know that when I get pregnant again (if it ever happens!) I probably will be. It will be a hard decision whether to tell anyone before the 12 weeks or not. I'd be scared of doing the wrong thing (I know I didn't cause my m/c but still). Pretty stressful to think about but hey lets not stress ourselves before we even get there. Other than that, it's been a pretty quiet week so far. On Friday I am on my own while Bethany is at school. I am thinking about taking her by bus like mum does on Thurdays but then walking the 1.4kg home after I drop her off, just for some extra exercise. It should take between 15-20 minutes to do and then I will still have 2 hours to myself. OMG what am I going to do with 2 hours to myself! Then next week, Peter and I have taken a week holiday from work, nothing planned, just need a break from work, so am hoping to get some extra exercise done then to, maybe an extra walk every second day or something. Am looking to loose some good weight over the next week and a half so fingers crossed.
Reassessing Hi guys Sorry for the big upheaval. For those of you new to my blog, I have had a different blog running for quite some time (see link on the left if you would like to catch up) but have had to relocate and go semi annonymous due to someone close to me using my blog in day to day life. I started blogging 2 years ago after reading a fellow slimmers blog. I thought that considering I don't actually go to weight watchers or have a good, stable support group close to me that I would go online. My blog has always given me a place to vent my feelings, get advice, laugh and cry with others who are going through the same issues as me. But lately, I have had to watch what I type, limit my comments and cut off a lot of what I am going through so as not to upset others. So I made the decision to start a fresh. I have kept a link to my old pages so new readers can actually find out who I am and where I am coming from. BUT on my old blog, I have taken off all links to me. I have removed my tagboard, links to all my online buddies so when they update their links to me I can't be traced and on other pages like my photos page, I have removed links to my blog. I know this all seems a bit cloak and dagger but it was the only thing I could think of to get my freedom back. And finally, I am using a silly little name from a cute cartoon character as my alias. This was the final step I had to take because unfortunately, using my name could still find me on a search engine. So here I am, being all honest and true by hiding with a fake name. A bit silly don't ya think? I hope all of my old friends find me with no problems, I would hate to lose any of my buddies by making this move but it was something that had to be done.
Starting again Well here I am, starting yet another new blog, through no choice of my own. This is just a quick entry to let you know that I am up and running and will do a full update within the next 24 hours. Hope you all find me with no problems.
|
::Tagboard::
::Others Who Inspire Me!::
::Visitors since 11 February 2006:: |
